About Me

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Crete, Greece
Married to the lovely Geoffrey, my soulmate. I have two fantastic big kids,both married, whom I love and miss every day I'm not with them, but I know they're living and loving their lives and we make up for time when we get together.I now have three granddaughters too...

Monday, 4 May 2009

It's Raining, (in my heart)

Jose, from San Jose, Almeria, Spain. Love at first sight for me, when I saw him. He was a scrap of a thing that fitted on my hand.
We thought about it for seconds, would he manage living on a boat, would he miss the smells, would he learn to cock his leg on a rocking boat?
The first week we had him,he fell overboard and nearly drowned, it put him off swimming and barked like mad when we went in the sea.
He learned all about sailing and could coil lines better than us. He was seasick a couple of times but aren't we all? He used to stop eating and hold on til we took him ashore, honest!
He travelled around the Med with us visiting exciting places, though he didn't much like Mount Etna, too hot on the paws.
Friends came to stay and played games with him, very sociable and he has his own FaceBook page with more friends than Geoff.
These photograghs were taken last week on the beach, he loves chasing waves.
When Geoff went back to the UK to work I stayed here, living on the boat and Jose and I had many great adventures. He went to the beach every day and raced up and down for hours. He was my constant, my mate, he knew everything, every mood, all the tears and laughter. We would dance together, shower together and yes, I admit it, he shared my bed, he was my shadow. We both shared a dislike for the horrid plank that we should have used to get on and off the boat so he had a harness that I used as his handle, then I would lift him into the dinghy and get ashore like that. He used to sit on my shoulder, being vertically challenged, he had a better view up there.
He and Dewi managed to live together and even share the same bed. Jose was not too keen when Dewi took him for a walk, holding his lead, it was so funny, Jose barked with indignation. Geoff came back to live here, we were a little family, he was our baby we couldn't have. We would walk for miles and miles, sniffing and peeing on everything. loved his wirey hair, his chocolate coloured eyes that could read my moods.
So.... we were standing laughing and joking yesterday, trying to get the rotivator to work,outside our house. It isn't a road, not a highway,it's a deadend. We get a couple of neighbours walking past every day.
Jose and Dewi were admiring the view and waiting for a walk, Geoff turned and Jose was convulsing........
He ran to Leonie's for the antidote, poisoning is rampant here. I picked him up and ran to our neighbours, time stood still but rushed as everyone shouted instructions, he'll be ok,we got the antidote quickly, make him sick. All the time my baby is convulsing, frothing, pooing.
Then he died, in my arms, I felt him die, just like that.............
I've not stopped crying. Can't see the keys.
I held him for hours, carried him around the house, put him on the bed. The neighbours came around and told me maybe he was in a coma, he shouldn't have died, we gave him the antidote.
There's no reason why poison should have been put down by my house. All my immediate neighbours are devastated, they have cats. It's illegal to leave poison around but who cares?
If I find out who did this I will rip their heart out and see if they feel a fraction of the pain we are feeling.
Finally we took him to the garden and Geoff dug a hole under the orange tree while I cradled Jose and told him how much we're going to miss him.He's got a new bandana on and he's wrapped up in Geoff's old fleece. As we left it started raining and hasn't stopped yet. Geoff had to work this afternoon, he looks awful.
I've taken Dewi for a walk and keep expecting to see Jose running away from his poo like he's got the devil chasing him, always done it, don't know why or wiggling his bum, did I tell you he was gay? He's 5 and still a virgin. Rest easy Jose, I love you.

I'm not going to blog for a while.
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75 comments:

Menopausal musing said...

How bloody, devastatingly awful for you. How needless...... How cruel.... x

Daisie said...

I cannot see the keys now either. We have lost our animals by cars and when they go suddenly it is terrible. To loose an old animal who is in need of release is hard but Jose was just a baby still. I am so sorry (and angry) for you.
Much love and big hugs xxx

Carol said...

Jude my tears are falling for Jose after reading your blog, people do not realize that dogs are part of your family. You love them.

Arosebyanyothername said...

Having recently lost my own dog, Ginger, to disease I feel your pain. I weep tears too for your little friend he sounded such fun and he was lucky to have you. You gave him a good and exciting life.
I hope you will blog again as I enjoy reading your writing. The pain will get less I promise you.
I hope you find out who did this dreadful thing - big hugs RosieXX

Kitty said...

What a very moving post. I'm so sorry for your loss, that's absolutely terrible. Losing a pet is so hard, but like this ... so needlessly, suddenly and 'unkindly'.

Thinking of you. x

Jackie said...

Oh Jude...how awful for you. What a devastating event. You know that i understand just how you feel. The blog and comments will help. They helped me.
Love and hugs.

Genie said...

Oh Jude,
am crying here, Thoughts with you, it is not the way we want our beloved pets to go,
Take care and remember the good times.
Hugs Jean

charlie said...

I'm so sorry...how terrible for you. Poison is often put down here too by cruel people..

Blu said...

So sad to read this post. I am crying too. Hugs to you x

Artist Unplugged said...

Oh, how excruciating and senseless. My heart aches for you and Geoff. Words just aren't good enough. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Pipany said...

Oh Jude, I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you xx

Frances said...

Tears in my eyes now, too, for dear little Jose. Senseless to remove such joy. You have written so beautifully about Jose as a beloved family member.

xo

Pondside said...

I'm so very sorry to read this, Jude. To lose a beloved friend to such a horrid, senseless act is terrible. Your Jose was a sweetie.
I understand your need to take a break, and I look forward to hearing from you again, when you feel up to it.

Lynn said...

I feel your sad. I feel sad for you. I am so very sorry for your loss of Jose. What a sweet story your wrote about his life. I can only send hugs and heartfelt love.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

blackbird said...

Oh Jude, I am so sorry for you and yours.

What a stunning shock and a huge empty void. Take care.

Amanda said...

Oh Jude, how sad. People who don't have animals don't understand that the hurt when they go can be so great. And to have it happen in such a heedless, needless way is heartbreaking.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oh that is awful. I'm so very sorry to hear about this. I am sure Jose will love you from where he is, remembering all the beautiful times you spent together.

God bless you and Jose,
CJ xx

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Oh how horrible of people. What sick minds. I feel your grief and he was so young. I am so very very very sorry. My heart goes out to you especially as an animal lover too.
Hugs Cris

Calico Kate said...

So, so sad, I can;t see to tpye slearly either. Too too unfair and horrid.
Such a lot of love and hugs from me to you both.
CKx

Judith said...

Hi Jude, You know that I am here for you. Anything I can do to help and I will be there. Lucky doesn't know it yet but she has lost a friend. Lots of hugs and kisses to both you and Geoff x

Withy Brook said...

Another avalanche of tears here too. I am so very very sad for you. You will mourn him just as we mourn a human - it is to be expected so don't wonder if you are odd or anything as I did. I didn't know then that it was normal and OK. You are in my thoughts.

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Oh Jude I am so terribly sorry - my heart goes out to you.

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

There is a hug for you in the Forum under Purple Hugs . . . just so that you know we are thinking of you.

soulbrush said...

omg this is absolutley devastating for all of you..i am in shock reading it with a lump in my throat. shit shit shit, life can be such a bummer sometimes. so sorry jude. so sorry.

mountainear said...

Jude, what a terrible thing to happen.

So very sad for you. Big hugx

Mim said...

I'm SO SO sorry for you Jude - this is just devastating. awful, awful. your baby gone - I'm crying with you.
much love sent your way

Anonymous said...

I remember first meeting the lovely little scruff bag in San Jose with you He charmed everybody who had the pleasure of meeting him in his own little special way. Love and miss you lots Mum, Gareth.xx

Faith said...

Oh you poor poor love, how terrible. Poor little Jose, it wasnt his time to go. Purple hugs, and many happy memories for you. Eternal rest be granted to your little sweetheart.

Faith xx

unclemark said...

I have been hoping to visit you in Crete sometime and was looking forward to renewing my aquaintance with your little seadog.
Old shipmates are never forgotten

Art Space Gallery said...

Oh no, this is terrible, first Willow now Jose. Thinking of you all, so sorry, Lesley.

Celtic Heart said...

Jude, I am deeply saddened at this. I am crying with you. You are in my prayers tonight. CH xx

Quilting Cat said...

So sorry to hear this sad news, thinking of you.

TIGGYWINKLE said...

Dear Jude, How dreadful and sad for you. It will take time for the pain to ease. Do try to get back to your blog when you feel able, as we all love you, and the wonderful trips you take us on around Crete. When Tigger is unwell,I try to blog to divert my mind, and cheer myself up. Take care, Tiggy xxxx

snailbeachshepherdess said...

more tears on the keyboard here - so sorry Jude

janet said...

Shocked and sad to read your post today. Hope you can take comfort from all your friends in blogland. Our pets touch our hearts in such a way that they will always be with us. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you at this sad time.
Janet x

Terry Busse said...

I am so sorry Jude. My heart is open for you and your family. I too know the pain of losing a furry friend.
He sounds like he was such a love and your best friend.

katie jane said...

Oh Jude, the tears are pouring out of my eyes as I type this. I cannot believe it either. Having owned five dogs I know very well the grief you are feeling. It cuts you in half. We lost our last one to old age 13 years ago and still I cry.
You take ALL the time you need. We will all still be here when you return. We understand.

studio lolo said...

I followed you here from Artist Unplugged, and as an avid, compassionate animal lover please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear companion. I can't wrap my head around cruelty, especially to something so innocent and loving. I don't imagine you'll ever forget this.
I do know that your heart has been touched forever by this very special "fur person" and because of his love, you'll never be the same.
Perhaps you can do something in his name to stop the madness, like "The Jose Crusade."

Prayers and blessings to you and your husband.

Cretemum said...

Dear Jude and Geoff

As someone who has been through this (RIP Beautiful Bonnie girl) and who witnessed the needless death of Jose, I would like to say that I feel, beyond words, your pain and I ache for you.

I KNOW the hours lying on the bed, wishing, wishing, like a little child, that you could wave a magic wand. I KNOW the times you think you are ok and go out and about, just to suddenly have it all hit you like a sledge hammer to the chest and you have to race for home, your refuge, so you can howl.

I will not try and tell you that the pain goes away; but it will become bearable.

My little girl has a 'special' place in her imagination. (I am sure she will not mind me telling you).
It has always been her way of coping when bad things happen to animals. She takes their image and sends them to this wondrful world. She sent Bonnie there; she sends animals she reads about who have been cruelly treated, animals she sees abandoned and killed by the road.
She told me Jose is there in a beautiful new scarf, playing with our Bonny and barking at cats.

I hope so.

xxxxx Leonie

Jenny said...

Oh Jude, I'm so sorry - how absolutely awful for you both...

Cheryl said...

Jude, my heart is broken. I can't believe how needless this pain is. I'm so sorry for your poor little Jose, you and Geoff. What a horrible thing. Please know that you are in my heart.
My deepest sympathies...
Love & Hugs...
Cheryl

Ivy said...

OMG that is so devastating and I'm really sorry about your loss.

Cynthia said...

What a loss, Jude. I feel for you. Sudden separation is painful because it`s so unexpected. I know how raw you both must feel...much love is sent your way. <3

Maddie Grigg said...

I am so sorry Jude. What a way to go. Our Alfie, the English setter, died last year, suddenly, after he collapsed on a walk and I had to carry him home. But he'd had a good life. Your boy had a good one, but not long enough.
x

Emmy said...

so so sorry I cry with you

HER ON THE HILL said...

Jude, just popped over to say hi and found this. I'm so very sorry. An unimaginably awful thing to happen. Words no good, I know.
x

Melanie said...

So sorry, I can't imagine losing my Patty dog . . . I'm tearing up over here.

Sara said...

How sad, I will be thinking of you and praying for you! I know its hard to lose a pet, my thoughts are with you!

Anonymous said...

Dear Jude and Geoff, My third message to you, but what the hay. I still miss my Cass ands he died 36 years ago... I've never been able to face having another member of my family in doggy form, 'til Sophie adopted us. I KNOW how you are feeling.It doesn't help much, but we're thinking of you.
Ann & Lampros. XXXX

Anonymous said...

Jude, Geoff, I am so sorry to hear about Jose, to keep hearing about people who have lost loved pets to cruel
poisonings brings such sadness and anger. As you say, if only we could get our hands on the culprits..........
I almost feel like an aunt to Jose, he'd been to our house so often, causing chaos with Oscar, chasing each other round the lounge, b arking at the cat.....
I am back on Sat if you want to call me. The only comfort I can give, from past experience is that it helps to have another dog,not a lot of comfort really, but some.
love, Chris

Julia said...

Oh my dear, dear Jude - I burst into tears as I read your words - I am so sorry, it is such a huge loss, losing a little treasured friend in such a cruel and unexpected way - I can only send you love and comforting hugs as I understand how painful it all is for you.

With love,
Julia xxx

bindu said...

Oh Jude - how AWFUL !!! My eyes filled with tears when I read this. How cruel, and absolutely heartless people can be! Who would want to poison an innocent animal? I hope horrible things happen to whoever did this. Your sweet Jose is free of pain now. I'm sure he still hovers close. I am so sorry.

sukipoet said...

oh my god. this is so incredibly sad and horrid of whever did this. I hadnt read about it until Mim mentioned it. Big hugs to you, suki

Anonymous said...

Hi Jude and Geoff,

Just read your blog and cried my eyes out. Poor little Jose now in Doggy Heaven. Thinking of you both it is so sad. Love Gill xxxx

Robyn said...

Oh Jude! Hugs,strength and love to you.

Chris said...

Oh Darling Jude, My heart aches for you and Geoff. Thinking of you with much love.

John said...

Jude, we had heard about Jose from Bethan. You and Geoff must be devastated and so angry, it's a terrible thing to happen to Jose and and an awful thing for you to witness.
Thinking about you x

Mim said...

Jude - I dedicated my "Animal Wednesday" to you and to Jose. Just want you to know that I am thinking about you...

Anonymous said...

Oh Jude, I am so, so sorry. Poor little feller. WHAT BASTARDS! Big hugs to you all. Helen X

alice c said...

I'm so sad for you. I know how much it hurts.

marianne said...

OMG, what can I say......
I´m in tears!
Only those whoi have pets and lost them know what you are going through!
I have lost several animals and some broke my heart.
I had a lovely cat once which was poisoined, it is so unfair!
I am so sorry for you and Jose, taken away in the mids of his life while there was srill so much to enjoy.
I don´t know anything to say to comfort you, but I hope your pain will fade a little as time goes by.
It is a nightmare right now.... please wake up one day and feel the sunshine in your heart again!

Hug from Holland

Gerry said...

It is heart breaking when we lose a member of the family - a loyal, true friend.
My heart breaks with yours.
Gerry

St Ives Birds & Photo Journal said...

Jude, that's awful. I'm so sorry for you both, and Jose.
Poisoning is a disgraceful practice and totally unnecessary. I hope you find out who did this and get some justice.
I know what it's like to lose a dog before their time but not in such a cruel way and so young.

Mediterranean kiwi said...

so sorry to hear bout your loss

Karen said...

Oh Jude, I'm so sorry for you. You've written such a beautiful, moving account of Jose and I really feel for you, losing him like that.
When I saw his photo on facebook, I thought he looked like such a character, I have to have him as a friend!
Lots of love to you and Geoff x x

Lydia said...

Dear Jude

I was so deeply saddened to read this posting, & lost for words at the cruelty of it all. Just awful for you all. It doesn't seem enough, but all I can do I send a hug & keep you in my thoughts.

Love Lydia

Kate said...

My heart is breaking for you. I loved your telling of your life with Jose. Tears well in my eyes. You had such joy with this beautiful dog and its such a devastating loss. You are in my heart and thoughts. Sending love and healing your way. I see Jose frolicking away in that magical place that dogs go to.

Hugs,

Kate

Helen Suzanne said...

such an awful way for him to go. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, and can understand your heartache.

peace and love to you.

MargaretR said...

Jose druan. Paid a stopio blogio!

Clare W said...

How terrible. My heart goes out to you. Those people should have a dose themselves - I feel so angry and sorry.
Thank you for your comment on my blog - I should like to find out the website name with the biodynamic instructions.
Meanwhile - big hug x

Mary-Laure said...

Heartbreaking.......

Attic24 said...

Oh no!!!! I popped across to search for some hooky fun and am now all snotty and teary eyed.
Jude, I am SO sorry for your tragic loss, honestly, words fail me. Just too damn sad for words.
I am sending you the biggest, warmest hugs, and lots of love...
Lucexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yvette said...

Oh Jude, i wish i could wash away your pain.
The only bad thing animals can do is leaving you to die.
I'm speachless...
yvette

Syd said...

This is one of the big reasons why I'd never go back to Crete, and not a small motivator for our leaving. What sort of people do this for sport? How can this practice be so widespread? So common that people have to keep antidote on hand? It says a lot about the culture.

I'm very sorry for you, and I imagine that I would have quite liked Jose - he seems a spunky character.

periwinkle said...

I've just found your lovely blog and am now sitting here with tears pouring down my face-- big hugs to you..
Lisa x